"Now Sarah, this is getting to be tiresome, we run a strict system here and we won't stand for bad sportswoman ship and we CERTAINLY won't stand for answering back!" Said Miss Turncliffe getting agitated She continued "it was only a week ago you were nearly suspended for bringing d**gS into the dorms, if it wasn't for the fact your parents payed extra to give you special attention you would have been out of here SO FAST, now what do you think your parents would say if I told them you we're taking d**gs hmm?"Sarah looked scared at that last sentence "please don't tell them!" She squeaked "Well I can't think of anything left I can do to straighten you out without resorting to more unorthodox methods Sarah... In fact iv had enough... Get up"Sarah stood straight up"Iv tried my best and what thanks do I get" said Miss Turncliffe as she went over to the first aid box and retrieved the Vaseline "Turn round and face my desk"She bent Sara over the desk "What are you doing??" Cried Sarah"You. "This one is compliments of LarryEver wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.What makes life 100%?If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Zis represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Then:K N O W L E D G E11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%H A R D W O R K8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%But,A T T I T U D E1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%And,B U L L S H I T2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%So, it stands to reason that knowledge and hard work will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.This one is compliments of IgorSix Affairs:The First Affair:A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell.
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